Third Sunday in Lent
Almighty God, you know that we have no power in ourselves
to help ourselves: Keep us both outwardly in our bodies and
inwardly in our souls, that we may be defended from all
adversities which may happen to the body, and from all evil
thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul; through Jesus
Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy
Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

It is quite appropriate actually that this collect comes at the mid point of Lent. The new disciplines are beginning to loose their luster. Those of us who fast are beginning to tire of whatever we are eating. The pull of the things we may have "given up" is beginning to reassert itself. I know for myself, I really just want to veg in front of the TV with some Mac and Cheese and maybe some Fried Chicken (my desert island food of choice). And the weather...it's not cold and snowy, but yet it's not warm enough to be beautiful. Especially in a late March Easter, the Lenten season really can be pretty bleak.

This collect acknowledges the realities of our situation. For in the opening we realize that we are actually powerless...that we cannot help ourselves. As we are, we are a mass of contradictory impulses, some of which want one thing and some which want the polar opposite. Ask anyone who has suffered with overweight or alcoholism. We are unable to conquer our demons with will power. Most of us don't really even have a single will which can make the attempt. One minute we want to diet, the next we want cake. One minute we feel the deep hurt of those around us who have been hurt by our alcoholism and sincerely want to make amends; the next we are on a binge. Or more mundanely, one moment we want to be channels of grace to all we know; the next we are damning our boss to hell, or dreaming about how to revenge ourselves on our meddlesome co-worker.

One thing that I believe that I know unequivocally, is that everyone is in this position, from the most holy monk down to the homeless drug addict. The degree may be different, but without outside help, all of us are a morass of competing little personalities. Like the demoniac we are possessed by a Legion of personalities, each one thinking it's the "king" of our souls and turning our psyches into a cacophony of competing voices and thoughts. That we don't notice it much is thanks to our unique ability to delude ourselves...to be literally "asleep" to our own inner chatter and contradictory behavior.

So the solution is this...since we have no power in ourselves, we have to attach ourselves to another power...one that does have the ability to help. The joy of God and grace is that it is always available, and there is a power there that we can access and that is greater than anything that we can achieve. We just have to recognize that we need the help and ask for it. In fact...in the moment we literally "wake" up...or come to ourselves as the phrase is related in the parable of the Prodigal Song...there is an amazing rush of power...not a power we can control...or a power we deserve. It is God stepping in the breach...functioning as a "shield and buckler".

And indeed that is how the collect continues. We ask God for defense from adversity....but more importantly for protection from "evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul." This turn of phrase interests me. So often we think of these little "temptation" thoughts as harmless. And actually, coming from a place of Divine Power they are totally harmless. But without that power and self-knowledge thoughts indeed do matter and are deeply harmful. Every sin that can be committed begins as a thought or emotional impulse, which to me is also a thought. We cannot commit an evil act if we cannot conceive of it. So in the very conception lies the seeds of our destruction. And if we tell ourselves that these thoughts are harmless we give them more power.

I recently was diagnosed as a diabetic. It didn't come as a big shock to me but it has been an adjustment. Mostly I am taking the lifestyle changes as spiritual as well as physical challenges. But the food thing is a real struggle sometimes. I'm quite in love with good food...especially good Southern food, which of course is diabetes in a can. The seriousness of my health issues make it no joke anymore to follow a diet. But I can say that, especially late at night, I live in a pretty constant state of temptation. Thoughts of sweets dance through my head...and even thoughts of binging on "legal" food like All Bran. Since diabetes is controlled as much by how much you eat as what you eat...and I need to slim down seriously...even legal binges are pretty devastating to my blood sugar.

In earlier times these kinds of thoughts might develop strength. As I entertain them more and more they begin to get stronger...moving from fleeting images of food to little internal monologues about the innocuous nature of the impending binge. Then earnest thoughts about how I have to go downstairs to take out the trash...and before you know it I've eaten half an apple pie. But such binges are no longer an option for me.

I've decided this time that I'm really totally powerless over these little thoughts, and that they are actually evil. They may originate in all sorts of psychological states, but in actual practice they function exactly like the demons in the Temptation of St. Anthony....or like the Daughters of Maya in the story of the Buddha under the Bodhi Tree. And evil is not too strong a word for them....for their aim is evil; it's too tempt me back into familiar patterns and habits, patterns and habits that have proved self-destructive and could eventually prove deadly. I have to call them out as I see them. This is in a sense the "spiritual warfare" that so many of our Evangelical brothers and sisters talk about...and they have a point.

So this collect is an especially powerful one for me. It is one that I think I will pray with regularity, even after this week is done. Because the only really help I can ask for comes from God. God can give me the strength to ignore the voices of temptation. Indeed, when I pray...especially when I do centering prayer...I have an opportunity to let go of those voices. Contrary to popular opinion and the voices of some religious conservatives, Contemplative prayer does not make your mind a blank. In fact there are thoughts going through your mind all the time as you pray. But the beauty of Centering Prayer for me is that it helps me learn how to lay aside those thoughts. By learning how to effortlessly let them in and out of my mind I learn that they can have no power over me...and that when I am sitting with my God I am safe from them. It is not my own effort at work here. God quite literally wraps me up in Godself and those little evil voices turn into a quiet murmur. "I" don't think about them anymore because "I" am doing something much more beautiful and interesting.

So indeed, there is an answer...and that answer is Biblical. You cast your burdens on God and on Jesus. It sounds "old time religion" of me, but it's true. God will take is all up. He won't fix all your problems. God still wants us to grow and develop and that growth can only happen as we struggle with our own demons. But God doesn't give us more than we can handle. As St. Paul assures us in this week's Epistle lesson, God will not let us be tempted beyond our strength...and with the temptations He provides us with the means of escape. And that escape is the Cross of Christ.